Over to you Laura...
Parenthood is like looking both ways before crossing the road and getting hit by an aeroplane!
Ah yes.... Parenthood. When it
doesn't matter how many times you look down that road, or think about all the
things that are coming your way, nothing will prepare you for the shitstorm
that is about to hit you full on, and bulldoze you to the ground. NOTHING!
There is only one rule when it
comes to preparing for parenthood... and that is.... you CAN'T prepare for
parenthood.
Doesn't matter how many times
you watch One Born Every Minute, nothing can prepare you for childbirth. The
pain... the mess... the indignity!! Every time I watch that program there is
someone laying in a bed, texting on their phone saying they are bored! This is
FAR from the experience I had!
Doesn't matter how many times
you tell yourself 'it can't be that hard or people wouldn't do it'.
Well..newsflash..... 250 000 people run the London Marathon every year....
doesn't mean its easy!! In fact I have seen it bring grown men to tears!
Doesn't matter how many night
shifts,early mornings, long haul flights or all night raves you have been
to.... you will NEVER be prepared for the sleep deprivation caused by having a
new born baby.
(Unless maybe you set an alarm
to go off.. at random intervals...all day... and all night...for periods of up
to an hour...with the sound of a baby crying..)
But even then...you know in
the back of your mind that if it gets too tough....you switch off the alarm.
Parenthood is not like that...
there is no off button for the screaming baby (sorry) although boobs seem to
work quite well... or dummies.
Doesn't matter how many books
you read.... in fact don't bother... you will only fill your head with endless
crap about 'routines' and 'self soothing' and 'swaddling' which serve no real
purpose other than making you an anxious wreck because you are worrying about
what 'the book' says.
You have nothing to relate it
to until the baby arrives so I would save reading till then. I highly recommend
Google.... and mumsnet (which normally comes up via Google)
Doesn't matter how many times
you think 'well if so and so can do it, cant be that hard'
...Its. Still. Hard.
You probably weren't there
when 'so and so' was sat crying in her sick stained dressing gown because the
baby just wouldn't sleep, or when the baby had (again) been crying all day and
then the cat decided to make things worse by doing a shit on the floor, OR when
she had to go for a wee with her baby strapped to her chest because it was the
first bit of peace and quiet she'd had for DAYS.
To anyone currently sat
reading this (in their sick stained dressing gown) thinking/wishing they had
done more to prepare..... don't. I'm honestly not meaning to sound
negative, becoming a parent is an amazing thing, (no really it is!) but, my
advice to anyone about to embark on this journey (haha 'journey' makes it sound
like its the yellow brick road... more like Lord of the rings and the journey
to Mordor)
...anyway... my advice is
this... once you have prepared by buying all the mountains of equipment you
need. Sit back and just enjoy your life as a solo person.
Don't try and 'prepare'.. you
can't. Just accept that when that baby comes, it will be like your life is a
snow globe, the baby is the one shaking it... and you have no idea which way is
up.
Don't worry though... you WILL
get through it, you WILL survive, and you WILL love it..... after all.... 'so
and so did' !
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